Mini love of my life

Today is a  great day. It's Dalen Asher Wilkins 4th birthday! Who just happens to be the best stepson on earth. I'm 99.9% sure of it.

4 years ago, I loved this little boy before I knew him. And although this was probably the scariest day of my life I have such fond memories. The moment dom left the me to go to Little Rock I knew our lives were changing forever. I had 7 or so months to prepare. I know you'd think why would she have to prep, right? No! Eventhough I was not physically responsible for him, I was emotionally attached to the life of him. The thought, fortune & soul of this little boy were in my heart well before he'd taken his first breath. I know weird situation & there is no book, guide or song that artfully explains how this should work. So you bet I was so confused. The love his father, Dom and I had was undiffusable. Although we'd previously tried to call it quits.....for about 6mths to be exact. That's not what was meant to be. While the timing of our "re dating" phase couldn't have been at a worse. I believe it was just meant to be. Imagine this man had to tell me he loved me, wanted to be with me & that he was having a child with someone else all in the same breath. As much as people will think poor Christa at this point, I knew how hard Dom was dealing with it & as much as wanted to walk away single, young & free....nothing in my being would let me. Completely a magnetic connection. I was drawn to him. Hell I still am! Every single day. Only difference now is I get to help with the upbringing & life of Dalen. I wouldn't have it any other way. He is my joy! Bad love story? It really isnt. Eventhough the enitre structure is a day to day process. Dalen makes it all worth it. I've enjoyed being in this journey and I can't wait to watch him grow up to be a loving, caring, respectful, smart, athletic & passionate man just like his wonderful daddy. Thank you baby for being such a great daddy for the last 4 years. He really is a blessed little boy & I know he knows it. :) I love you more than I feel I can wordly explain Dalen. Daddy & Christa love you so much HAPPY 4 YEARS NINJA DALEN!

178 days ago...

I've literally woke up for the last 178 days  with a new last name. I've been Christa Wilkins for that long? Crazy. I've been a wife for half a year! Woohoo go me! No, go us! We went through a lot before we got married & this part has been easy breezy. I think we both learned so much about each other throughout the last 5 years of our relationship that we know our boundaries for marriage. So it's been a great 178 days! Not saying we won't cross those days, but right now I'm just enjoying the Wilkins'.

Baby, you've seen me at my worst, my best, my hurt & my joy.....you are my best friend. My confidant.  My provider. My encourager. My purpose. And I've needed you to play every single role this year. For that I apologize to you, love. I am sorry that you've unfortunately had to be on this ride with me, but I'm so glad I have had you. This would have been impossible if I didn't have you. And frankly you've done a damn good job at it! Thank you!

So many lessons have come to me this year & I've really had to deal with them as they've come up, but I'm taking note.

Live to be each others #1 supporters. Although I know we currently do this we must continue through the ugly, the beautiful & just everyday life.  Only then will we find each others strength & encouragement to live out each day to the fullest. If no one else has our back at least we will have each others.

Live honest lives. So many things happen in life that change our course or purpose.  Things that may tear us down or build us up. If we choose to be honest with each other as things arrive we will only be our best individually & together.

Live faithful lives. I know we've got some growth opportunities there, but it's a stepping stone to get to my final point of creating an above all family value. In time we will begin our family. And I know that we will be great parents no doubt about it, but I know we both agree that we have prepping to do before that happens. That being within ourselves & as a pair.

I can't wait to finish this journey. Creating the best life with you is going to be more than I can currently fathom. But I can't wait.... bring it on forever!  Happy Halfaversary my love!

God grant me the serenity....

Hola! It's been a while! Man life really does move fast. It's been hard to keep up, but today was a good day.

I'm sure this topic is nothing far from the brain to most my age....you know that age when you truly start to see life for what it is....fast! I for one am VERY ocd...and he'll I'll admit it I'm not very happy about big life changes. Honestly, it all scares the he'll out of me. But I've decided, well this crazy year decided to teach me a lesson. It is that things happen for a reason & while I may not agree I have to go with it. This year has really tested me.

Today we had a baby shower for my little brother Zack. Yes, the little boy that I use to bathe, feed, spank & put to bed. The little boy that I always tried to protect.Today was hard, while I've known it was coming, it's still tough. The thought of my little babies growing up is so hard. I think I get that way because, bluntly, its not the vision I had for that little boy I helped raise. But thats just it I have to learn to agree with the paths put in my loved ones lives. It's a controlling thing, I vision that the only "good" path is the one I've put together....because I think its best, but really? Do I have that say? No, and thats what I've got to grip. I've got to help him in this situation & help him grow with it. That is what I take away from today. Im proud of him & I'll be even more proud when I watch him offically become a father to my 1st niece Za'kiah. Brother I won't let you fail ..don't worry, this is your path, I'll just be right by you to guide & help as I always have.

If you are having trouble accepting things. Just know they will be what they are. You cannot force what isn't meant to be. Make the best of what you can for you & remember it's happening for a reason learn the lesson & keep up!
......God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change those that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

http://youtu.be/iZsC8y6gac0

OVO xoxo

......WOW.....This year has been the craziest whirlwind. Ive experienced life cringing tragedies & new life beginnings. While I can't believe it's already 3/4 over, and slightly happy about it, today is my 27th birthday! Birthdays have always been a big deal to me, because of my mom. Crazy, for some reason I feel like I'm stretching across the "old" line. I know many consider that line @ 30, but this year no big plans or plots. I really just wanted to be with my family.  Of course the way adulthood & married life work combined means I have no time really anyway. And I'm ok with that.

Dom has been attending this Authentic Manhood lecture & last night mentioned the Tuesdays topic was "How Life Moments Define Our Lives Without Knowing". Birthdays happen to be one of those for me. My mom always made sure my day was great. We didn't have a lot, but she always went beyond for my day. I remember one year she happened to work 3nd shift, so at midnight like always, she called me.  But the next morning by time I left for volleyball practice she hadnt made it home. When I get home from school her, Niesha, Zack & some of my friends were on the porch holding up huge painted signs that said "Happy Birthday Christa". Now to make sure you understand....my mother is not into crafts at all....I never remember her doing any crafts so the fact that she made those massive signs meant a lot! All my friends signed them and of course we had cookie cake & ice cream, my favorite! I hung them up in my bedroom for years. That is just one of the many examples of my mom's willingness & drive to do so much with little. I think she knows, but I am very grateful to have her & I  appreciate all those birthday suprises & all the other great things she did for me. I see those moments live through me as I try to make everyone's days special. I just feel if you have opportunities to make a birthday or any other day special, why not. It's the effort that matters. So today I appreciate everyone for all of their happy birthday's & well wishes! I'm so blessed today & everyday!

Who is your Superman?

I believe everyone has a story & everyone's stories have trials & triumph. Whether big or small. A part of my story creates the character that I call superman. When I was a senior in high school the scariest thing happened. I was pulled out of school to find out one of my parents was in the hospital with very minor details. It was my daddy. I immediately assumed the worst. As a child my dad was the most masculine person I knew. I'm sure as every little girl pictures their daddy. Everything about him seemed invincible. He was strong, athletic, popular & handsome. 

After his accident he was told he'd never walk again. I thought well that is taking the man I've known completely out of him. I was scared....who would he be now, to me, to his peers & most importantly to himself.  Throughout his time in rehab he kept pushing the limits & setting higher goals. Before we knew it he was taking strides with a cool machine! I was so proud. Once he officially got back home it didn't take him long to mention he was joining a wheelchair basketball league. I was stoked. I knew he'd played basketball before he was confined to this chair, but I never thought of wheelchair sports! Perfect hobby. Then, he mentioned wheelchair tennis. I honestly didn't think much would come of it. Before I knew it I was bidding on chairs & racks from ebay. It was almost instantaneous he began traveling to tournaments. However, I've yet to see him play, he never tells me which we will have to fix! He recently competed in the U.S. Open wheelchair championship. Where he won both the singles & doubles title in the C division!  I'm so proud of him, but most importantly I want people to take an amazing message from this...."you can get bitter, or you can get better" a friend told him that & he says it motivated him. From this I want others to know that just because you are confined doesn't mean you can't put yourself out there. Specific to the sports you will benefit mentally, physically & socially. But it's not just sports that are out there. Get out and experiment.  Just like my dad who learned a new sport in adulthood with a physical limit & is dominating & so can you! 

http://5newsonline.com/2014/09/14/fort-smith-quadriplegic-wins-singles-doubles-in-u-s-tennis-championship/

 

Here are some great starting points for research & ideas!!!

http://www.livestrong.com/article/335333-activities-for-wheelchair-bound-individuals/

http://www.nhs.uk/change4life/Pages/disability-activities-kids.aspx

http://www.pinterest.com/saxydi/activities-for-disabled-adults/

http://www.mychildwithoutlimits.org/act/family-life/physical-activities-for-children-with-disabilities/