"Honey, You Ain't Never Lied": 2014

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Christmas Time is Here

CHRISTMAS TIME!!! My favorite time of year.

Haven't posted in a while & there are many reasons why. My new role has really started to gear up & I really made myself not post anything emotional during the holidays. I wrote some things, but am just now going to post them.

I've always loved this time of year. I owe that all to my grandma. I spent all of my Christmases & Christmas Eves with her until my later teen years. So many memories. This is the 1st holiday seaon without her. It's been tough, still tough & I imagine the holiday season will be for many years to come. I can't help but reminisce about the previous year. The holidays really gets you thinking. I'm so glad that I took last year & so many other times to just sit & talk with her. When everyone else my age was out "rippin & runnin" (one of her favorite things to say) I was checking on her, talking with her & enjoying the holidays. And I'm so very glad I did. She was really loved the holidays. But family that was a 365 thing for her....her most important feature & almost everything I hold family to is because of her. She sacrificed so much to be a wonderful mother & grandmother. To know her even in her later years was my pleasure. I don't know what pain she went through or why, but I'm glad I had her to show me family, strength & love! Those memories don't go away so almost everything reminded me of her this holiday season but I tried hard to enjoy it. And I did. I did decide we had to make some new traditions. This was our first Christmas being married. And while we've alternated holidays for the past few years together of course this one's tough. So we had our 1st Biennial Ornament Party! It was a blast. A nice time to enjoy family & Christmas cheer with my side of the family.
We will continue to have that party for years to come.

Overall it was a roller coaster year. I have many things to be blessed for. I absolutely miss my grandma, but she's with me everyday now. I have to remind myself that regularly. I married Dom, we both moved to different areas of the company, we moved to a beautiful house, I got a beautiful niece & I'm healthy & happy! And those are the big things, so many other things happened. So as you spend time with family, friends, children or significant others really really tried to enjoy it. No matter what happened this year....be grateful for now. Those times will become memories, great ones if you make them.

Happy Belated Holidays from the Wilkins!

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Mini love of my life

Today is a great day. It's Dalen Asher Wilkins 4th birthday! Who just happens to be the best stepson on earth. I'm 99.9% sure of it.

4 years ago, I loved this little boy before I knew him. And although this was probably the scariest day of my life I have such fond memories. The moment dom left the me to go to Little Rock I knew our lives were changing forever. I had 7 or so months to prepare. I know you'd think why would she have to prep, right? No! Eventhough I was not physically responsible for him, I was emotionally attached to the life of him. The thought, fortune & soul of this little boy were in my heart well before he'd taken his first breath. I know weird situation & there is no book, guide or song that artfully explains how this should work. So you bet I was so confused. The love his father, Dom and I had was undiffusable. Although we'd previously tried to call it quits.....for about 6mths to be exact. That's not what was meant to be. While the timing of our "re dating" phase couldn't have been at a worse. I believe it was just meant to be. Imagine this man had to tell me he loved me, wanted to be with me & that he was having a child with someone else all in the same breath. As much as people will think poor Christa at this point, I knew how hard Dom was dealing with it & as much as wanted to walk away single, young & free....nothing in my being would let me. Completely a magnetic connection. I was drawn to him. Hell I still am! Every single day. Only difference now is I get to help with the upbringing & life of Dalen. I wouldn't have it any other way. He is my joy! Bad love story? It really isnt. Eventhough the enitre structure is a day to day process. Dalen makes it all worth it. I've enjoyed being in this journey and I can't wait to watch him grow up to be a loving, caring, respectful, smart, athletic & passionate man just like his wonderful daddy. Thank you baby for being such a great daddy for the last 4 years. He really is a blessed little boy & I know he knows it. :) I love you more than I feel I can wordly explain Dalen. Daddy & Christa love you so much HAPPY 4 YEARS NINJA DALEN!

Monday, November 3, 2014

178 days ago...

I've literally woke up for the last 178 days with a new last name. I've been Christa Wilkins for that long? Crazy. I've been a wife for half a year! Woohoo go me! No, go us! We went through a lot before we got married & this part has been easy breezy. I think we both learned so much about each other throughout the last 5 years of our relationship that we know our boundaries for marriage. So it's been a great 178 days! Not saying we won't cross those days, but right now I'm just enjoying the Wilkins'.

Baby, you've seen me at my worst, my best, my hurt & my joy.....you are my best friend. My confidant. My provider. My encourager. My purpose. And I've needed you to play every single role this year. For that I apologize to you, love. I am sorry that you've unfortunately had to be on this ride with me, but I'm so glad I have had you. This would have been impossible if I didn't have you. And frankly you've done a damn good job at it! Thank you!

So many lessons have come to me this year & I've really had to deal with them as they've come up, but I'm taking note.

Live to be each others #1 supporters. Although I know we currently do this we must continue through the ugly, the beautiful & just everyday life. Only then will we find each others strength & encouragement to live out each day to the fullest. If no one else has our back at least we will have each others.

Live honest lives. So many things happen in life that change our course or purpose. Things that may tear us down or build us up. If we choose to be honest with each other as things arrive we will only be our best individually & together.

Live faithful lives. I know we've got some growth opportunities there, but it's a stepping stone to get to my final point of creating an above all family value. In time we will begin our family. And I know that we will be great parents no doubt about it, but I know we both agree that we have prepping to do before that happens. That being within ourselves & as a pair.

I can't wait to finish this journey. Creating the best life with you is going to be more than I can currently fathom. But I can't wait.... bring it on forever! Happy Halfaversary my love!